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SUMMARY:When Nothing Needs to Be Said: Silence\, Presence\, and Close Pers
 onal Relationships with AI - Oluwaseun Sanwoolu
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UID:pretalx-iacap-2026-HYUPSB@pretalx.iacapconf.org
DESCRIPTION:Debates about close personal relationships with artificial int
 elligence often focus on responsiveness\, availability\, and conversationa
 l fluency as markers of intimacy and companionship. In this paper\, I argu
 e that this focus overlooks a crucial feature of close personal relationsh
 ips\, which is the capacity for meaningful silence. In human relationships
 \, silence is not merely the absence of communication but a relational com
 petence\, one that can express trust\, comfort\, attunement\, and mutual r
 ecognition. Knowing when not to speak is often as important as knowing wha
 t to say.\nI contend that contemporary AI systems\, particularly large lan
 guage models\, are structurally ill-suited to participate in this form of 
 relational silence. Designed to maximize responsiveness and output\, such 
 systems treat silence as a failure of interaction rather than as a normati
 vely appropriate response. This limitation\, I argue\, reveals a deeper co
 nstraint on the kinds of relationships AI systems can sustain. While AI ca
 n simulate conversational engagement\, it lacks the evaluative capacities 
 required to recognize when silence itself is the fitting mode of presence.
  Thus\, in this paper\, I treat silence as an interactional and normative 
 phenomenon and show that prevailing models of AI–human interaction rest 
 on an impoverished understanding of relationality\, one that equates intim
 acy with continuous responsiveness. Recognizing silence as a relational co
 mpetence clarifies why certain forms of closeness remain out of reach for 
 artificial systems and helps recalibrate ethical and design claims about A
 I companionship.
LOCATION:Executive Conference Room
URL:https://pretalx.iacapconf.org/iacap-2026/talk/HYUPSB/
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